By Bonnie Taylor05/12/04
The following e-mail was sent to me by my sister, Caroline Hall, from Boston too late for last week’s column, but I thought you moms would still enjoy reading it.
Job description: Mom Position: Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommie, Ma
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
Possibility for Advancement and Promotion:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
Wages and Compensation:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The odd thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
Please share this with all the Moms you know (and even some who are mom-like), in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.
I was holding my three-year-old grandson Sunday at dinner when he was too tired to eat and he fell asleep in my arms. I could not resist kissing his sweet lips as he slept.
The above is worth every bump, bruise, innuendo, for just a few seconds of many times during this untrained position of motherhood.
Sometimes it can feel as though you're unappreciated and used for a door mat, but all of this passes in tender moments of butterfly kisses and hugs.
My husband, Eddie, and I were guests at the Girard High School reunion last Saturday night.It was a delightful evening of reminiscing, fun, music, good food and fellowship.
It was held in the newly renovated Old Girard Schoolhouse. Folks in Girard are proud of their community building and they should be! It is lovely, charming and inviting while protecting the historical features of the old school house.
I understand it gets a lot of use.
Congratulations, Girard, on great use of your SPLOST funds!
Look in next week’s newspaper for a review of the Girard reunion.
Oh, the hazards of being a newspaper reporter. Now you know why our dress code is not too professional. We never know what we will be covering! Let us hear from you! You can reach me via e-mail: bonniet@thetruecitizen-.com.
Legal Organ of Burke County, Waynesboro, Sardis, Midville, Keysville, and Girard